The art of passive aggression

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Passive aggression - The Corporatzi

What is passive aggression?

Passive aggression happens when we express our feelings and or wants in an indirect, manipulative way, making it difficult for the recipient to understand and to pinpoint exactly what the message is.

There are various payoffs for people who use passive aggression; they maintain a sense of manipulative control [they might be unaware of this],  they don’t need to take ownership for the outcome [using authentic engagement and dialogue] and they can sabotage relationships without disclosing their intent.

If you feel uneasy after a conversation or you sense a mixed message has been communicated, check to see if the person used a veiled compliment, a hook to get you on board and then an indirect and manipulative payoff.

Questions
- How aware are you of the use of passive aggression at work?
- How does its use impact on the outcome of your conversations and moral at work?
- What is an effective way to engage with someone who uses passiver aggression.

I go into more detail on Communication Styles in my Clear Results-only Conversations Workshop.

~ Dene Rossouw
TheNarrativeCoach.com

[Cartoon software by Stripcreator.com]

Tags: authentic engagement, indirect, mixed messages, passive aggression, sabotage

Power differentials at work

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Power differentials - The Corporatzi

One of the key elements in having a results-only conversation is learning to manage the hidden dynamics of power.

Instead of  asking a few powerful questions to interrupt the other person’s pattern of focusing attention on herself  and bring that person out of victim mode, the communicator decided to identify with her instead as a way of interrupting the process.

Does identifying with the other person work when we want to interrupt a pattern or game? In this example the primary communicator gave up any personal power she had, and then it becomes difficult to initiate a shift to action later. Empathy is a powerful tool and although we need to reflect back our understanding of the emotions, situation and impact on the other person, true empathy works when the communicator speaks from a neutral position of personal power that is well grounded.

Questions
- How aware are you of the power differentials at work and how they can impact on the outcome of your conversations?
- What is an effective way to engage with someone who wants to control a conversation?
- What is an effective way to engage with someone who plays a victim role in conversations? – i.e. I need a break and it’s unfair to hold me accountable.

I go into detail on Power Differentials at Work in my Clear Results-only Conversations Workshop.

~ Dene Rossouw
TheNarrativeCoach.com

[Cartoon software by Stripcreator.com]

Tags: communicator, empathy, personal power, power differentials

Voices

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Voices - The Corporatzi

Irving  Layton is considered to be a literary mentor of singer-writer Leonard Cohen. From Wikipedia we learn that Leonard Cohen once said of Layton, “I taught him how to dress, and he taught me how to live forever.” Leonard Cohen’s words, with reference to Layton, formed the background for this image of a Crazy conversation at work:

Always after I tell him
what I intend to do next,
Layton solemnly inquires:
Leonard, are you sure
you’re doing the wrong thing?

Questions
- Where do you turn to for advice?
- How much clear direction do you get from your God or religion, your conscience and your friends?
- Who gives you the other 10%? In other words, who can you trust to challenge you with care and candour so that you deeply examine your motives when you need to make decisions that impact your life?

~ Dene Rossouw
TheNarrativeCoach.com

[Cartoon software by Stripcreator.com]

Tags: Irving Layton, Leonard Cohen

Showing up

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Showing up - The Corporatzi

Questions
- When do you most often succumb to your inner critic’s sabotaging?
- How does your inner critic sabotage your success?
- How can you disengage from the control of your inner critic?

~ Dene Rossouw
TheNarrativeCoach.com

[Cartoon software by Stripcreator.com]

Tags: inner critic, self-image, self-sabotage

The day after the empathy workshop

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Empathy - The Corporatzi

Questions
- What is empathy?
- How is empathy different from sympathy
- Which of the two, empathy or sympathy, uses more personal energy?

~ Dene Rossouw
TheNarrativeCoach.com

[Cartoon software by Stripcreator.com]

Tags: empathy, sympathy

Culture change

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Culture change - The Corporatzi

Questions
- We have Boomers [1946-64], Generation X [1965-76], Net Generation [1977-1997] and the Next Generation or Millennial Generation [1998-present] – source Grown up Digital by Don Tapscot. How important is it for managers to understand and bridge the generation gap?
- What can we learn from Net Geners about democracy in the workplace and indeed in our world?
- As a Boomer, what personal shifts of mind and heart do I [we] need to make in order to be relevant?

~ Dene Rossouw
TheNarrativeCoach.com

[Cartoon software by Stripcreator.com]

Tags: Boomers, Don Tapscot, generation gap, Generation X, Grown up Digital, Millennial Generation, Net Generation, Next Generation